Not sure about the title really, but it's certainly prompted a lot of ideas! From something that began life as a dream about a year ago, this idea has, in the space of a couple of hours today, fledged into something with some quite well-realised characters and a big ol' scene list. I'm unsure whether I have enough material for a 50k novel, however I was actually hoping I'd have enough to stretch it out more than that. I even have an idea for a sequel, so perhaps this could be a novel in two parts instead? I have plenty more material to work with as to where the characters go, and it certainly takes a dark turn after the first 'part'.
IDK I'm just really excited about it x)
Friday 23 October 2015
All Quiet
On the Blog Front.
No, I haven't meant to have been so quiet - but it's for a good cause. I've been concentrating on my scriptwriting (because that's what the focus of this term's writing module is about) and also preparing for Nanowrimo 2015! I have a lot of planning to do.
I was torn between several ideas at first, but eventually settled on one that's been sitting as a note in my phone for about a year and a half. Development is happening quite fast, and I have a feeling it'll turn into something like a Young Adult Fantasy type thing. I have it billed on Nano as 'science fiction' but it's not really anything close to that.
All exciting, I will attempt to post updates when I have the time! Wahey!
No, I haven't meant to have been so quiet - but it's for a good cause. I've been concentrating on my scriptwriting (because that's what the focus of this term's writing module is about) and also preparing for Nanowrimo 2015! I have a lot of planning to do.
I was torn between several ideas at first, but eventually settled on one that's been sitting as a note in my phone for about a year and a half. Development is happening quite fast, and I have a feeling it'll turn into something like a Young Adult Fantasy type thing. I have it billed on Nano as 'science fiction' but it's not really anything close to that.
All exciting, I will attempt to post updates when I have the time! Wahey!
Tuesday 1 September 2015
Freewrite
Freewrite 1/09/2015
Prompt word ‘frighten’. (fairly unfocused).
Frighten, wide eyes, eyes widened, deers in the headlight cowering down inside of yourself without mercy cold hardened
outside, shutting self off from the world outside, inside a turmoil of
anxiety and panic, panicking, sweating palms, sweating dripping down your
forehead, blinking away the tears of what do I do next,
not knowing, fear of the unknown, death, aliens, dying young, the fear
of dying, basic human fear and instinct,
instinctual – adrenaline, running away, fight or flight, imposing fear, causing fear, power play, using fear as a weapon, an
instrument, making someone fear you, using fear to control, enacting your power, acting upon power, powerful,
people in positions of power, politicians, leaders, kings and queens, emperors,
evil queen, fairytale, fairy story, dark grimm brothers, fear of not being good enough, giving into temptation,
peer pressure, moral tales, aesops fables, fable, game, strength skill or will,
different types of expertise, talents, jack of all trades master of none, being good at something, fear of failure, scaredy
cat, cats, Halloween, fear, dark black witches, wizards, warlocks, magic, dark
magic, unholy magic, resurrection, necromancy, wickedness, evil, darkness,
great evil, overcoming evil, utilising fear to make
yourself stronger, fear is a tool for good and evil, for purpose. Fear can
be used for more than power and control – control by others and controlling
your own emotions and actions.
FEAR AS EMOTION AND AS A TOOL
So I just completed one of my first freewrites in ages. I think I'm still getting the hang of this. I notice with my freewrites that I tend to just use phrases and words which are associated with each other, rather than full on sentences. I think this might be a product of giving myself an unfocused freewrite, rather than focusing on one idea or subject. I think using just one 'word' might also be part of why I only use phrases and other words to associate and freewrite.
IDK :) practicing this process will no doubt help, and unlock lots of interesting things. I got advised to write down a sentence at the end of my freewrite which encompasses the main ideas unlocked through the freewrite, or brings me back to a general sense of what the freewrite was about.
I also revised the amount of time I need to do this exercise for - 5-10 minutes is enough, rather than 20. :)
Friday 7 August 2015
Writin' schedule
Following my post from yesterday, I sat down for a few minutes before bedtime to contemplate what sort of things I could put into a writing schedule. Mostly this is down to the fact I have this massive big red book I should have worked through in my first year of uni, and didn't, but also the fact that regular writing makes writing easier when it comes to the more important stuff.
I think that's where I went wrong. I spent so much time last year worrying about the fact I'd fail everything else and so little time actually honing this craft that I almost altogether abandoned it, pulling together slapdash work at the last minute and submitting it for a meagre result of 2:2 on all creative pieces. Sure, I can construct the commentaries well, but I feel that if my creative pieces themselves were better, the mark of my criticisms would receive a boost.
So here I am, getting down to my 'writing plan'. I have a million other goals in life, too, - be more active, eat well, drink more water, drink less caffeine, be more complimentary, worry less about external things such as appearance etc. However, I think some of those will come in time, some I am making subconscious progress with anyway, and some are things which can sit by the wayside for now. They all sort of might roll into one collective ball of 'eventually I will look back, and notice I do drink more water, I am happy with my appearance' etc etc. But writing is something which to me, requires attention now. I have written for as long as I can remember - I had a full little book when I was around 4, brimming with illustrations for my stories, ideas, characters. Yes they were childish, but that was the start of this hunger I constantly want to satisfy.
Anyway, enough rambling - down to it. If I'm going to blog more, get my feelings out, get all the chattiness out of my 'writing voice' (which is one of the points on the list), then I might as well put this somewhere I can see it everyday.
Also I completely forgot that I actually used tumblr way more. However, strangely I found myself drawn back to this old blog. I think for any actual writing work I will still post it up on my tumblr, but tumblr is a pain to try and use on an ipad. Whereas blogger is actually really simple to use on an ipad.
The schedule list - at last!
1. Remember that I am most productive between 10am - 1pm, and also past 8pm and before 10pm. That is at least two sessions a day, with a maximum of five hours. On good days, I can go for longer (but lunch breaks always tend to drag on...)
2. Freewrite, either unfocused or focused, and make word clusters (without or with generated prompts) for at least 20 minutes each day. This should come at the beginning of a writing session, to engage the creative side of the brain, and get myself limbered up for a session.
3. Read at least 1 chapter of the Creative Writing coursebook - make notes from this about things to remember, writing tips, and creative exercises. When I have worked through the entire coursebook, dedicate this portion of time to reading at least 1-2 chapters of a book, or watch 1 episode or 1 film. This counts as research; good writers also read widely, and also games/films can provide worthwhile sources of information for me.
4. After point 3, return to the freewrite or word cluster that I wrote. Pick out interesting parts of the word cluster which catch my attention, or underline words or phrases from the unfocused freewrite. Use either of these to produce a more focused freewrite, or put them into the writing notebook 'info dump/ inspiration' section, to use later in other writing.
5. Go back over something I wrote previously and edit, or just make notes on what I wrote the day before to prepare for editing later.
6. Begin to plan characters/ideas/plots for whatever idea is currently in progress. Use any relevant exercises from the coursebook to help with this. If no planning is required or I would rather use the time to just write something - do a focused freewrite based on a prompt or something from the info dump. Or use a scene from an idea plan. I can also expand on characters - one exercise is to describe characters and their personalities in three succinct phrases. World building may also come under this.
7. Or research! From editing notes or plans, pick something which requires more indepth research. Create a research folder for this and put all relevant information inside this. This includes world building.
I think that's where I went wrong. I spent so much time last year worrying about the fact I'd fail everything else and so little time actually honing this craft that I almost altogether abandoned it, pulling together slapdash work at the last minute and submitting it for a meagre result of 2:2 on all creative pieces. Sure, I can construct the commentaries well, but I feel that if my creative pieces themselves were better, the mark of my criticisms would receive a boost.
So here I am, getting down to my 'writing plan'. I have a million other goals in life, too, - be more active, eat well, drink more water, drink less caffeine, be more complimentary, worry less about external things such as appearance etc. However, I think some of those will come in time, some I am making subconscious progress with anyway, and some are things which can sit by the wayside for now. They all sort of might roll into one collective ball of 'eventually I will look back, and notice I do drink more water, I am happy with my appearance' etc etc. But writing is something which to me, requires attention now. I have written for as long as I can remember - I had a full little book when I was around 4, brimming with illustrations for my stories, ideas, characters. Yes they were childish, but that was the start of this hunger I constantly want to satisfy.
Anyway, enough rambling - down to it. If I'm going to blog more, get my feelings out, get all the chattiness out of my 'writing voice' (which is one of the points on the list), then I might as well put this somewhere I can see it everyday.
Also I completely forgot that I actually used tumblr way more. However, strangely I found myself drawn back to this old blog. I think for any actual writing work I will still post it up on my tumblr, but tumblr is a pain to try and use on an ipad. Whereas blogger is actually really simple to use on an ipad.
The schedule list - at last!
1. Remember that I am most productive between 10am - 1pm, and also past 8pm and before 10pm. That is at least two sessions a day, with a maximum of five hours. On good days, I can go for longer (but lunch breaks always tend to drag on...)
2. Freewrite, either unfocused or focused, and make word clusters (without or with generated prompts) for at least 20 minutes each day. This should come at the beginning of a writing session, to engage the creative side of the brain, and get myself limbered up for a session.
3. Read at least 1 chapter of the Creative Writing coursebook - make notes from this about things to remember, writing tips, and creative exercises. When I have worked through the entire coursebook, dedicate this portion of time to reading at least 1-2 chapters of a book, or watch 1 episode or 1 film. This counts as research; good writers also read widely, and also games/films can provide worthwhile sources of information for me.
4. After point 3, return to the freewrite or word cluster that I wrote. Pick out interesting parts of the word cluster which catch my attention, or underline words or phrases from the unfocused freewrite. Use either of these to produce a more focused freewrite, or put them into the writing notebook 'info dump/ inspiration' section, to use later in other writing.
5. Go back over something I wrote previously and edit, or just make notes on what I wrote the day before to prepare for editing later.
6. Begin to plan characters/ideas/plots for whatever idea is currently in progress. Use any relevant exercises from the coursebook to help with this. If no planning is required or I would rather use the time to just write something - do a focused freewrite based on a prompt or something from the info dump. Or use a scene from an idea plan. I can also expand on characters - one exercise is to describe characters and their personalities in three succinct phrases. World building may also come under this.
7. Or research! From editing notes or plans, pick something which requires more indepth research. Create a research folder for this and put all relevant information inside this. This includes world building.
Thursday 6 August 2015
Looking out for my future self.
6th august (Thursday)
22.41
Dating and timing new diary entries is helpful, it means I can post them to be queued whenever I want. Today was better than yesterday. I have come to realise, over the past few months following something Jake said to me, that I should spend more time living in the moment and less time worrying about trying to get back to being someone I was three years ago.
I'm not inherently scared of change - but nonetheless, change can be scary. Or if it isn't scary, it's strange. It takes a while to adjust to new things, no matter who you are.
I think it took me a while to adjust to Craig's house, and now I'm not there, all that adjusting really did to favour me was make moving out in May easier. I was ready for it a year ago - I was not ready for it when we sold our house and moved all our belongings and all our nostalgia in less than 24 hours.
I'm trying to write more; that was my goal this summer, to buy my course books for next year, read them, and practise writing. Even if practising writing means just writing every day - getting into good habits with it, finding schedules and routines. My main criticism of myself last year at university was that I dedicated too much time to everything else and not enough time to my creative writing. Which was a bit silly on my part, really, because the creative writing was the reason I picked the course in the first place. But I think my fear of failing, my fear born from two years of absence from academia, fed the desire to put my energies into honing essay writing and less attention given to creative endeavours.
I stopped beading. I stopped drawing. I stopped writing.
I did Nanowrimo, and for me, that was enough. I wrote almost 90,000 words - planned and wrote a full length novel. It's a mess, and I know it, and it needs a full overhaul. But I did it. And I think it burned me out a bit. But I proved to myself once again I could achieve that, and achieve it well. The first time I won Nano I was only about 200 words over the minimum requirement to win. Last year I smashed it. I hope I have time to write my next one this year - time enough to plan it well too.
A combination of things have made me both really hopeful and really determined to get back on track with my summer plan for writing. I've read a lot of the books I need to for next year, however I've barely touched the pile. While the mountain of books might seem unconquerable, I know that if I break them down into chunks - one book at a time, one chapter each night - then I can do it. It's the same with writing. I was inspired this week by a phonecall from Natalie, who told me she is persevering with her novel, and an email from Dad. His admission that his own writing schedule wasn't on track was some sort of light for me. He accepted that he had other things to do, other things which needed to be sorted, before he could indulge in his passion for writing. But although retired, writing is another form of work. Golden years work. What he really wants to do, he finally gets to.
And I think that's where my new found motivation has come from. He showed me it's okay that I've taken a long summer off, I've been working my ass off to pay for this degree. It's okay that I'm feeling very down, I cried a lot this week, but I picked myself back up with help from Natalie and Jake, and that's okay too. I have actually done lots of research and note taking on editing, which for me is at least a good third of the writing process (if not almost half). I have done a lot of reading, which to me has always felt like writing-research. I have planned, I have brainstormed, I have researched my ideas to some depths. And I am trying not to guilt myself anymore about how much I haven't written. Other people on my course are getting a lot done, but I have to stop comparing myself to them. They are all very good writers - in fact I believe I am getting the lowest marks in the class. I envy them for being clean slates, but then again I also find a lot of what they are writing to be very cliche. I can't say I wholly agree with some of the teaching that goes on for that part of my course. But I need to learn that I need to stick to the rules more. I need to learn the rules as well as I know how to breathe automatically. Then I can work on holding my breath for longer, or breathing deeper. Or even circularly breathing. I need to know how to bend and break the norms of the rules, and when this will harm or help.
A lot of this comes down to what I first wrote at the beginning of this entry - that over the past three years, or even four years, I have spent too long trying to get back to someone I was before. I spend a lot more time living in the moment now, and it's when I forget to do that, I begin to feel down about things. I have not felt myself for a good while, and Jake advised me (as wise as ever) that it's probably because I am trying to be someone who has changed and grown up a lot. I have. Things around me have changed but so have I. I have grown up, matured, and while elements of me from three years ago are still here, I know that other things are different or refined, however you want to put it. I shouldn't be sad about that - I know that perhaps I don't laugh as readily at things because right now I need to be serious about this. I know that I need to laugh more anyway, take things less seriously, have more fun, live. And live for the moment. Appreciate the moments - I can look back on things which happened only just last week and appreciate that is a memory I will cherish for as long as I can remember it. But the future is there too. Three years ago, there is something I would not have done. And although it isn't strictly living in the moment, it's a principal which is helping me so much now that I do it regularly when I can. I call it 'looking out for my future self'. There are things I can do, in this moment, which will help me in the future. I also look out to recognise the markers from my past self where I have done this, and thank her. She is a good person. That is me - that is me, looking out for my future self.
Self discovery is a never-ending path. And a bloody good journey too.
(This blog post was a bit disjointed in nature... I flitted a lot from topic to topic too quickly, a problem I have noticed in my writing. I tend to have problems with flow, although I'm trying to learn a thing or two from my essay writing and translate that to better paragraph transitions in my creative writing too).
22.41
Dating and timing new diary entries is helpful, it means I can post them to be queued whenever I want. Today was better than yesterday. I have come to realise, over the past few months following something Jake said to me, that I should spend more time living in the moment and less time worrying about trying to get back to being someone I was three years ago.
I'm not inherently scared of change - but nonetheless, change can be scary. Or if it isn't scary, it's strange. It takes a while to adjust to new things, no matter who you are.
I think it took me a while to adjust to Craig's house, and now I'm not there, all that adjusting really did to favour me was make moving out in May easier. I was ready for it a year ago - I was not ready for it when we sold our house and moved all our belongings and all our nostalgia in less than 24 hours.
I'm trying to write more; that was my goal this summer, to buy my course books for next year, read them, and practise writing. Even if practising writing means just writing every day - getting into good habits with it, finding schedules and routines. My main criticism of myself last year at university was that I dedicated too much time to everything else and not enough time to my creative writing. Which was a bit silly on my part, really, because the creative writing was the reason I picked the course in the first place. But I think my fear of failing, my fear born from two years of absence from academia, fed the desire to put my energies into honing essay writing and less attention given to creative endeavours.
I stopped beading. I stopped drawing. I stopped writing.
I did Nanowrimo, and for me, that was enough. I wrote almost 90,000 words - planned and wrote a full length novel. It's a mess, and I know it, and it needs a full overhaul. But I did it. And I think it burned me out a bit. But I proved to myself once again I could achieve that, and achieve it well. The first time I won Nano I was only about 200 words over the minimum requirement to win. Last year I smashed it. I hope I have time to write my next one this year - time enough to plan it well too.
A combination of things have made me both really hopeful and really determined to get back on track with my summer plan for writing. I've read a lot of the books I need to for next year, however I've barely touched the pile. While the mountain of books might seem unconquerable, I know that if I break them down into chunks - one book at a time, one chapter each night - then I can do it. It's the same with writing. I was inspired this week by a phonecall from Natalie, who told me she is persevering with her novel, and an email from Dad. His admission that his own writing schedule wasn't on track was some sort of light for me. He accepted that he had other things to do, other things which needed to be sorted, before he could indulge in his passion for writing. But although retired, writing is another form of work. Golden years work. What he really wants to do, he finally gets to.
And I think that's where my new found motivation has come from. He showed me it's okay that I've taken a long summer off, I've been working my ass off to pay for this degree. It's okay that I'm feeling very down, I cried a lot this week, but I picked myself back up with help from Natalie and Jake, and that's okay too. I have actually done lots of research and note taking on editing, which for me is at least a good third of the writing process (if not almost half). I have done a lot of reading, which to me has always felt like writing-research. I have planned, I have brainstormed, I have researched my ideas to some depths. And I am trying not to guilt myself anymore about how much I haven't written. Other people on my course are getting a lot done, but I have to stop comparing myself to them. They are all very good writers - in fact I believe I am getting the lowest marks in the class. I envy them for being clean slates, but then again I also find a lot of what they are writing to be very cliche. I can't say I wholly agree with some of the teaching that goes on for that part of my course. But I need to learn that I need to stick to the rules more. I need to learn the rules as well as I know how to breathe automatically. Then I can work on holding my breath for longer, or breathing deeper. Or even circularly breathing. I need to know how to bend and break the norms of the rules, and when this will harm or help.
A lot of this comes down to what I first wrote at the beginning of this entry - that over the past three years, or even four years, I have spent too long trying to get back to someone I was before. I spend a lot more time living in the moment now, and it's when I forget to do that, I begin to feel down about things. I have not felt myself for a good while, and Jake advised me (as wise as ever) that it's probably because I am trying to be someone who has changed and grown up a lot. I have. Things around me have changed but so have I. I have grown up, matured, and while elements of me from three years ago are still here, I know that other things are different or refined, however you want to put it. I shouldn't be sad about that - I know that perhaps I don't laugh as readily at things because right now I need to be serious about this. I know that I need to laugh more anyway, take things less seriously, have more fun, live. And live for the moment. Appreciate the moments - I can look back on things which happened only just last week and appreciate that is a memory I will cherish for as long as I can remember it. But the future is there too. Three years ago, there is something I would not have done. And although it isn't strictly living in the moment, it's a principal which is helping me so much now that I do it regularly when I can. I call it 'looking out for my future self'. There are things I can do, in this moment, which will help me in the future. I also look out to recognise the markers from my past self where I have done this, and thank her. She is a good person. That is me - that is me, looking out for my future self.
Self discovery is a never-ending path. And a bloody good journey too.
(This blog post was a bit disjointed in nature... I flitted a lot from topic to topic too quickly, a problem I have noticed in my writing. I tend to have problems with flow, although I'm trying to learn a thing or two from my essay writing and translate that to better paragraph transitions in my creative writing too).
Monday 29 April 2013
Getting around
No, not like 'that'...!
I had my first driving lesson today. My instructor's name is Joy, so I can make funny jokes about her last name being "Ride" to my friends for laughs. She's a good instructor apart from she needs to speak up sometimes! It's no good whispering "brake" to me if all I can hear is the engine running!
What surprised me is how sensitive cars are! I was a bit heavy handed at first, but I got the hang of things quickly. Sometimes I'm a bit irregular with my movements and wow, putting the handbrake off was hard to start with! I thought I wouldn't have the strength to do it but it was just a matter of getting used to how it felt. It was raining intermittently today so I also got used to using my wipers :)
I'm informed that my gear changes are pretty solid, but I over-steer too much. Needless to say I think I'm making solid progress even after one lesson. I can't wait to start being able to drive independently, getting a feel for the car and using your instincts I feel will be large part of it as well as basing all of that off base knowledge of the road and how the car works to drive it. Sometimes I find it hard to keep straight on the road, apparently I tend to verge off to one side or the other when I'm not really paying attention if it's not a dead straight road (lol).
My instructor tends to seem really panicky when I make a mistake such as almost going into a wall, but she has brakes!
I think I remember how to start the car too: (put your seatbelts on!) clutch down, engine on, put into first, bring clutch slowly up and put handbrake off. I might have gotten the second two steps wrong but we'll see what she tells me on my next lesson, next Wednesday.
I can't remember much apart from that which was significant about my lesson.
In other news, I got asked to participate in the upcoming charity fashion show at work. It's all vintage clothing and that's on Thursday with the dress rehearsal on Wednesday. I bought new jeans for it to wear with a top that is on my clothing list, but unfortunately today I managed to get tomato sauce on them already so I'm hoping they wash up alright ); otherwise I've already ruined them.
Further news is that I've started running! I've wanted to get my fitness levels up for a while now. For me it's not about losing weight, because that's really not an issue for me. And my diet is fine. What I'd like to be able to do however is walk up more than a few flights of stairs without feeling completely breathless. Improving my general fitness will be beneficial in general for all sorts of things! I'm on my feet all day which I think has helped because I rarely get a chance to just rest. Tomorrow is just a straight 30 minute walk.
I'm trying to think of things that have also happened recently that I haven't mentioned, other than me and Oliver breaking up but that was almost a month or more ago now. If you punch people in the face and knee them in the balls in a public bathroom simply because you don't like them, I'm not going to stand for that! Whether it was one-off violence or not! It's a fault of mine I tend not to talk about relationshippy stuff mostly because a) I know it gets boring if people talk about it all the time and b) nothing dramatic much ever happens!
On a final note, the new HIM album got released in the rest of Europe today! I bought that this morning and listened to it while running/in the bath this morning. It's pretty good, definitely classic HIM sound which is both good and bad as for the last two albums I've noticed them changing up their sound consistently for that particular album. But I see hints of everything they've ever produced in Tears on Tape. There are a few songs I know are definite favourites right now, but I'm sure I'll come to like every single track and also know all the lyrics.
Not much else to report for now, I think it's dinner time.
I had my first driving lesson today. My instructor's name is Joy, so I can make funny jokes about her last name being "Ride" to my friends for laughs. She's a good instructor apart from she needs to speak up sometimes! It's no good whispering "brake" to me if all I can hear is the engine running!
What surprised me is how sensitive cars are! I was a bit heavy handed at first, but I got the hang of things quickly. Sometimes I'm a bit irregular with my movements and wow, putting the handbrake off was hard to start with! I thought I wouldn't have the strength to do it but it was just a matter of getting used to how it felt. It was raining intermittently today so I also got used to using my wipers :)
I'm informed that my gear changes are pretty solid, but I over-steer too much. Needless to say I think I'm making solid progress even after one lesson. I can't wait to start being able to drive independently, getting a feel for the car and using your instincts I feel will be large part of it as well as basing all of that off base knowledge of the road and how the car works to drive it. Sometimes I find it hard to keep straight on the road, apparently I tend to verge off to one side or the other when I'm not really paying attention if it's not a dead straight road (lol).
My instructor tends to seem really panicky when I make a mistake such as almost going into a wall, but she has brakes!
I think I remember how to start the car too: (put your seatbelts on!) clutch down, engine on, put into first, bring clutch slowly up and put handbrake off. I might have gotten the second two steps wrong but we'll see what she tells me on my next lesson, next Wednesday.
I can't remember much apart from that which was significant about my lesson.
In other news, I got asked to participate in the upcoming charity fashion show at work. It's all vintage clothing and that's on Thursday with the dress rehearsal on Wednesday. I bought new jeans for it to wear with a top that is on my clothing list, but unfortunately today I managed to get tomato sauce on them already so I'm hoping they wash up alright ); otherwise I've already ruined them.
Further news is that I've started running! I've wanted to get my fitness levels up for a while now. For me it's not about losing weight, because that's really not an issue for me. And my diet is fine. What I'd like to be able to do however is walk up more than a few flights of stairs without feeling completely breathless. Improving my general fitness will be beneficial in general for all sorts of things! I'm on my feet all day which I think has helped because I rarely get a chance to just rest. Tomorrow is just a straight 30 minute walk.
I'm trying to think of things that have also happened recently that I haven't mentioned, other than me and Oliver breaking up but that was almost a month or more ago now. If you punch people in the face and knee them in the balls in a public bathroom simply because you don't like them, I'm not going to stand for that! Whether it was one-off violence or not! It's a fault of mine I tend not to talk about relationshippy stuff mostly because a) I know it gets boring if people talk about it all the time and b) nothing dramatic much ever happens!
On a final note, the new HIM album got released in the rest of Europe today! I bought that this morning and listened to it while running/in the bath this morning. It's pretty good, definitely classic HIM sound which is both good and bad as for the last two albums I've noticed them changing up their sound consistently for that particular album. But I see hints of everything they've ever produced in Tears on Tape. There are a few songs I know are definite favourites right now, but I'm sure I'll come to like every single track and also know all the lyrics.
Not much else to report for now, I think it's dinner time.
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Roma Roma-ma!
So apparently I have something worth blogging about again!
APPARENTLY I'VE AGREED TO HITCHHIKE FROM PARIS TO ROME.
HAHAHA
This is the crazy kind of thing I've wanted to do for a long time in the back of my head but never really thought I would be able to do. Well, I have no house, no children, no solid commitments - why shouldn't I save up a chunk of money and hitchhike around Europe with a good friend :D?
My goal is to save up £2.5k by next Summer. Then get plane tickets to Paris. Cross into Germany, go to Munich, go down through Austria to Venice, then to Florence, and finally Rome. Then we return home!
Adventure is out there!
:)
APPARENTLY I'VE AGREED TO HITCHHIKE FROM PARIS TO ROME.
HAHAHA
This is the crazy kind of thing I've wanted to do for a long time in the back of my head but never really thought I would be able to do. Well, I have no house, no children, no solid commitments - why shouldn't I save up a chunk of money and hitchhike around Europe with a good friend :D?
My goal is to save up £2.5k by next Summer. Then get plane tickets to Paris. Cross into Germany, go to Munich, go down through Austria to Venice, then to Florence, and finally Rome. Then we return home!
Adventure is out there!
:)
Sunday 10 February 2013
Jobsearching... give me strength!
It's been over a month since my last job ended, and although I was last out of work for 6 months following the end of my pre-uni education, it's felt like much longer than that this time round.
The same old problems are getting to me: you must drive/have a car! You must have at least 2 years experience in this field! You must have previous experience! I can't get enough previous experience if no one will hire me in the first place!
I feel as if the job market is actually quite hypocritical - they have high requirements for the job, and even if you meet all the requirements you may not be selected. Even if you make it to the interviewing stage, you may not be selected. Sometimes if you're selected they'll give you a trial. So how do lazy, stupid people get through all of that? It baffles me how these people get a job, and yet I can't, purely based on the fact I don't have that much experience? But it doesn't seem to matter that I can pick things up quickly on the job.
I also now know of two incidences where people with another job already have been picked over me for a position - one, the full-time position at the place I previously worked. The girl I met there had been there since August, and got the job I was applying for, even though she already had a bartending job. Also the other Christmas temp, who did far less than I did while I was there and I knew how to do more of the things in the shop than him, has been offered any full time or part time positions that come up there, instead of me. Is it because they like him more? Is it because he'll be able to get to work easier? I don't know, but I was never late, always did what was asked of me, was friendly towards everyone, and I thought I worked pretty hard and even did more than what was expected. Apparently that wasn't enough, and he's been offered any upcoming jobs instead of me. And yes, he has another 2 jobs which although they're not day jobs and they're not 5 days a week, it's still regular work.
While I still have none. Watch this space, hopefully.
The same old problems are getting to me: you must drive/have a car! You must have at least 2 years experience in this field! You must have previous experience! I can't get enough previous experience if no one will hire me in the first place!
I feel as if the job market is actually quite hypocritical - they have high requirements for the job, and even if you meet all the requirements you may not be selected. Even if you make it to the interviewing stage, you may not be selected. Sometimes if you're selected they'll give you a trial. So how do lazy, stupid people get through all of that? It baffles me how these people get a job, and yet I can't, purely based on the fact I don't have that much experience? But it doesn't seem to matter that I can pick things up quickly on the job.
I also now know of two incidences where people with another job already have been picked over me for a position - one, the full-time position at the place I previously worked. The girl I met there had been there since August, and got the job I was applying for, even though she already had a bartending job. Also the other Christmas temp, who did far less than I did while I was there and I knew how to do more of the things in the shop than him, has been offered any full time or part time positions that come up there, instead of me. Is it because they like him more? Is it because he'll be able to get to work easier? I don't know, but I was never late, always did what was asked of me, was friendly towards everyone, and I thought I worked pretty hard and even did more than what was expected. Apparently that wasn't enough, and he's been offered any upcoming jobs instead of me. And yes, he has another 2 jobs which although they're not day jobs and they're not 5 days a week, it's still regular work.
While I still have none. Watch this space, hopefully.
Wednesday 14 November 2012
NaNoWriMo 2012 Winner!
So again, like every year since I was eleven, I decided to take on the challenge of National Novel Writing Month. Some years I've had a head start, like this year, some years I've tailed off on day three, some years I've gotten to day ten and I'm behind but I'm still going. Last year I managed to get up to 20,000 words no problem, but the thing was I hated what I was writing, had no proper plan and all in all I found what I was writing to be the most boring thing. If I find it boring to write, they'll find it boring to read.
So that got scrapped. I could have started again; but I didn't. And that gave me the new found determination I harnessed this year for winning. I knew I could do twenty thousand: what was to stop me from doing thirty thousand? Or another twenty thousand after that? That would bring me up to the target goal of 50,000 words. And I was going to do it. And I did. This morning at 02:11 I finally won NaNoWriMo after years of trying and failing. And it feels so damn good.
No, not good. Great. Brilliant. Fabulous. I feel as though I should have balloons and streamers all around me celebrating my success. There are only a handful of people who know how much this means to me; but even then I don't think they understand just how pleased I am with myself. Because I didn't just reach the word goal - I reached it in twelve days. I know it's Nov. 14th, but I didn't write for two days of that to give myself a break. That is less than half the time allotted for the whole month to reach the goal.
In the midst of this I've had a hectic social life, friends demanding to see me and having nothing more than my plan and my writing software (Yarny, thank you so much) when I'm at my boyfriend's, started work, and am in the middle of moving house. If I can write 50,000 words in twelve days with all that going on I know I can do it any other time of the year and do so much more at quieter times in my life. I was determined to do it this year since I had no educational commitments, no other deadlines apart from the ones which are self-imposed, no appointments other than the ones I make; and work really doesn't take up that much of my time.
I worked out that if I continued to write the target word goal for each day (1,666) then I would end up with over another 28,000. That's 78,000. Almost 80,000. Almost a novel. And that makes me grin with pleasure and pride at myself. The only problem was once I hit 40,000 I realized I would only have enough story left planned out for another 10,000. Perhaps once I go back and edit it and flesh things out properly and add scenes in, I can bump the word count up. But I'm not touching it for another good month or two, because I'm entirely burned out. I don't want to read what I've written because I know most of it will be utter tripe. But I know there will be some gems in there, and if I can cut the rest to be just as beautiful and then shine it all up, I'll be all the more triumphant.
So I always learn things from NaNo. I've learned that I can be motivated off my own back, and when I am, I easily reach my targets. And then I have extra time. So instead of taking a break and relaxing, I'm very productive if I push myself through all that extra time I have and continue to work. It's easy for me to be lazy; but I found out it's equally as easy for me to just get on with things and get on with them well and over achieve. I had forgotten what over achieving feels like, having small successes in the past year but none I'm amazed at myself with.
I've also learned that I'm quite competitive. Looking at my online buddies list helped me to aim for a higher word count than I needed for each day. I wanted to be ahead of everyone else on there. If someone was at 40k and I was sat at 35k, I wasn't going to stop until I'd matched or beaten them. And that worked.
I've learned I'm not a pantser, I'm a planner. I couldn't have gotten ahead in the game so quickly if I hadn't written out quite a detailed plan for the first 25k of what I wrote, and after that I still had some vague guidelines of what had to happen in the next 25k before I could finish. I learned that the twenties are easy, but the thirties are hard and then when you thought that was a slog; the last 10k is possibly the hardest you've ever written.
I learned what is boring for me to write is probably boring to read. Driving and walking are two of these things. And unfortunately my characters go through a lot of that.
I learned my protagonist is not the male, but instead, the female. I found myself writing things more from her perspective.
I learned when I write every day, even when I don't want to, on the days when I do I see how much I've written and it motivates me even more because I know I can do better than the days when I didn't really feel like it. I learned writing every day takes a while to get into the hang of, and writing too much can burn you out, but if you take little steps and do some every day, it helps immensely and even if you don't think you have time for it, you find time. In those little spare moments you gain.
I learned it's worth it. I learned I probably won't want to do it again next year unless I have a solid idea. I learned that NaNo is not as shit as I thought it was.
I learned I can do it.
So that got scrapped. I could have started again; but I didn't. And that gave me the new found determination I harnessed this year for winning. I knew I could do twenty thousand: what was to stop me from doing thirty thousand? Or another twenty thousand after that? That would bring me up to the target goal of 50,000 words. And I was going to do it. And I did. This morning at 02:11 I finally won NaNoWriMo after years of trying and failing. And it feels so damn good.
No, not good. Great. Brilliant. Fabulous. I feel as though I should have balloons and streamers all around me celebrating my success. There are only a handful of people who know how much this means to me; but even then I don't think they understand just how pleased I am with myself. Because I didn't just reach the word goal - I reached it in twelve days. I know it's Nov. 14th, but I didn't write for two days of that to give myself a break. That is less than half the time allotted for the whole month to reach the goal.
In the midst of this I've had a hectic social life, friends demanding to see me and having nothing more than my plan and my writing software (Yarny, thank you so much) when I'm at my boyfriend's, started work, and am in the middle of moving house. If I can write 50,000 words in twelve days with all that going on I know I can do it any other time of the year and do so much more at quieter times in my life. I was determined to do it this year since I had no educational commitments, no other deadlines apart from the ones which are self-imposed, no appointments other than the ones I make; and work really doesn't take up that much of my time.
I worked out that if I continued to write the target word goal for each day (1,666) then I would end up with over another 28,000. That's 78,000. Almost 80,000. Almost a novel. And that makes me grin with pleasure and pride at myself. The only problem was once I hit 40,000 I realized I would only have enough story left planned out for another 10,000. Perhaps once I go back and edit it and flesh things out properly and add scenes in, I can bump the word count up. But I'm not touching it for another good month or two, because I'm entirely burned out. I don't want to read what I've written because I know most of it will be utter tripe. But I know there will be some gems in there, and if I can cut the rest to be just as beautiful and then shine it all up, I'll be all the more triumphant.
So I always learn things from NaNo. I've learned that I can be motivated off my own back, and when I am, I easily reach my targets. And then I have extra time. So instead of taking a break and relaxing, I'm very productive if I push myself through all that extra time I have and continue to work. It's easy for me to be lazy; but I found out it's equally as easy for me to just get on with things and get on with them well and over achieve. I had forgotten what over achieving feels like, having small successes in the past year but none I'm amazed at myself with.
I've also learned that I'm quite competitive. Looking at my online buddies list helped me to aim for a higher word count than I needed for each day. I wanted to be ahead of everyone else on there. If someone was at 40k and I was sat at 35k, I wasn't going to stop until I'd matched or beaten them. And that worked.
I've learned I'm not a pantser, I'm a planner. I couldn't have gotten ahead in the game so quickly if I hadn't written out quite a detailed plan for the first 25k of what I wrote, and after that I still had some vague guidelines of what had to happen in the next 25k before I could finish. I learned that the twenties are easy, but the thirties are hard and then when you thought that was a slog; the last 10k is possibly the hardest you've ever written.
I learned what is boring for me to write is probably boring to read. Driving and walking are two of these things. And unfortunately my characters go through a lot of that.
I learned my protagonist is not the male, but instead, the female. I found myself writing things more from her perspective.
I learned when I write every day, even when I don't want to, on the days when I do I see how much I've written and it motivates me even more because I know I can do better than the days when I didn't really feel like it. I learned writing every day takes a while to get into the hang of, and writing too much can burn you out, but if you take little steps and do some every day, it helps immensely and even if you don't think you have time for it, you find time. In those little spare moments you gain.
I learned it's worth it. I learned I probably won't want to do it again next year unless I have a solid idea. I learned that NaNo is not as shit as I thought it was.
I learned I can do it.
Tuesday 28 August 2012
Harsh Words
This is going to come across as very harsh but I'm going to get it out and say it: some of my friends want to be writers.
I don't mean to be harsh about this but I've spent the last couple of years not really planning any stories/novels/whatever, because I've been researching. Reading tips for writing, reading other people's stuff, generally getting a feel for how to craft something as intricate as a novel. Because they are intricate. They're woven masses of awesome creativity and take a lot of time, planning, tears, and late nights to complete.
I just have the feeling none of my friends who want to be writers have the faintest first idea of how to actually write something like that. They want to be writers - not just journalists, but novelists. I get they want to write something from their imagination. But do they realize that it's incredibly hard and rare to be as breakthrough as J.K. Rowling?
I know a lot of awful crap has been published recently - see Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey etc. but that's besides the point. That stuff is popular because it appeals to tween girls who don't know what good writing is. And even Harry Potter isn't that polished. If I had a pound for every time I've heard someone criticise J.K. Rowling for not editing well enough, I'd have a nice jingle in my step by now.
But yeah. Ok if they're going to university to study creative writing that's FINE but I hope they learn how to actually prepare a novel, plan, scenes, character development, realistic writing, etc... all that stuff I think writers need to and should know before they even begin contemplating writing a novel. Your story has to hang together! I feel like I'm a little up my own arse saying things like this, but it's not just because I'm irritated that they feel they can do it and it's also something I want to pursue at some stage as a career. I've wanted to be a writer since I was nine years old. I've planned stuff out since then too, becoming more thorough with it.
I just... yeah.
|:
Coherant argument is coherant.
I don't mean to be harsh about this but I've spent the last couple of years not really planning any stories/novels/whatever, because I've been researching. Reading tips for writing, reading other people's stuff, generally getting a feel for how to craft something as intricate as a novel. Because they are intricate. They're woven masses of awesome creativity and take a lot of time, planning, tears, and late nights to complete.
I just have the feeling none of my friends who want to be writers have the faintest first idea of how to actually write something like that. They want to be writers - not just journalists, but novelists. I get they want to write something from their imagination. But do they realize that it's incredibly hard and rare to be as breakthrough as J.K. Rowling?
I know a lot of awful crap has been published recently - see Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey etc. but that's besides the point. That stuff is popular because it appeals to tween girls who don't know what good writing is. And even Harry Potter isn't that polished. If I had a pound for every time I've heard someone criticise J.K. Rowling for not editing well enough, I'd have a nice jingle in my step by now.
But yeah. Ok if they're going to university to study creative writing that's FINE but I hope they learn how to actually prepare a novel, plan, scenes, character development, realistic writing, etc... all that stuff I think writers need to and should know before they even begin contemplating writing a novel. Your story has to hang together! I feel like I'm a little up my own arse saying things like this, but it's not just because I'm irritated that they feel they can do it and it's also something I want to pursue at some stage as a career. I've wanted to be a writer since I was nine years old. I've planned stuff out since then too, becoming more thorough with it.
I just... yeah.
|:
Coherant argument is coherant.
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